That’s a rather bold statement, I know. For the most part I would balk at such a statement if made by others, in fact I have. When I am watching a television program or if someone at work or at a fair or in the general public tells me that they know things and can even communicate with the dead my first reaction is to automatically go on the defense. I do not say things like, “Me too, we should totally be friends.”
I am not sure if other people with psychic abilities feel the same way. To me, it is not that I feel I am the only one on the face of the earth who is legitimate, it is just knowing that there are so many “fakes” out there which automatically makes the claim suspect. Especially when I do not go around telling people I just met about what I can do, what I see or what I hear. It is not something to be used as party tricks or money-making opportunities. I get a lot of flack when I say that, but I will explain.
It is my firm belief that no one should make money off of being a psychic. It automatically diminishes any credibility we may have and let’s face it, there isn’t much to begin with. I understand the “Time is Money” fallback but my response to that is, not really. Time is time and money is money. The two should never be interchangeable. Uncles Sam doesn’t care how much time you worked when he takes a percentage of your paycheck and time was not measured so that man could determine how much money he should make.
It didn’t cost you anything to get your psychic abilities, they were given to you for some reason and you should give just as freely. It’s not a lemonade stand, you don’t have anything tangible for sale so it is wrong to take money for words that could very well be cryptic and unclear to the person receiving the message.
With that said I am going to move on to what exactly I personally experience and how it varies from psychic to psychic.
Messages are never crystal clear. Some aspects of a message might be and that portion of the message might come through strong and adamant, but the rest of what we receive can be a jumbled mess of images that we as psychics have to decipher. Most psychic mediums adopt a symbol methodology. Since I do not ever hear voices I will never be able to pass a message along directly. I get random thoughts that are not my own, that do not apply to me, so I have to decipher whether or not what I am about to tell someone is a message from the other side or just my imagination. It is frustrating and I often times feel like a bumbling and mumbling idiot as I try to decipher what I am picking up.
I discovered that the easiest way to do this was to allow the message to be received in mental pictures. For example, if someone passed of cancer I usually see my Grandfather since he is the only person I personally know who passed from the disease. I will see my father in my mind if the person coming through is a father or a father-figure, likewise with mothers or mother-figures. The trouble comes when my classification system gets jumbled.
In one instance I saw my grandfather and I told the person that I am getting someone who passed from cancer. The person said that they knew of no one who died from cancer. My first thought was that EVERYONE knows someone who died from cancer, so I pressed the issue.
They person whom I was reading was adamant that they did not know anyone who died from cancer or who currently had cancer. I pushed back and told them to think harder. It was beginning to get a bit hostile as they continued to defend their position and I was pushing back 100% sure that they knew someone who died from cancer. Finally I said, “I am seeing my grandfather and he died from cancer so you have to know someone who died of cancer.”
They responded by saying, “My grandfather died last week and I was hoping to hear from him today, could that be the reason you are seeing your grandfather?”
It had not occurred to me that I was being shown my grandfather as a way to tell them that their grandfather was making contact. I automatically went to cancer and latched onto it. So this image system isn’t always 100% clear either, but I have learned to probe further before making such a strong assumption. It is a good thing I didn’t charge then for the reading, that would have been an embarrassment, at least this way they got what they paid for.
At the end of the day, being a psychic/medium isn’t at all like what you see on television. Television programs that feature psychic/medium readings in a group environment are edited together from 12 hours of footage into a 30 or 60 minute show and are designed to make the medium look great. What you are not shown are the hours of misses, dead ends and generalizations.
Herein lies the rub. A person willing to sit down with a medium already believes somewhat in the abilities of the person sitting across from them or they would not be there in the first place. They show up with the intention of making contact with a specific person for any number of reasons; to say goodbye, to get closure, to talk one last time, to determine the location of a missing item (jewelry, will, money, etc…). What that person might not know is that the psychic in whom they are putting their trust and dollars could be ready to cold read them.
A cold reader will typically look the part, well dressed but humble and modest. They will be charming and almost appear flirtatious. Conversely they could also be stereotypical parlor acts with crystals, incense and more. They are usually dramatic at either end of the spectrum. This dramatic whimsy is used to distract the patron like a magician does with slight of hand. They will also use what I call loophole phrases that will get them out of trouble should they head down the wrong path. Loophole phrases are “I feel”, “I sense”, “I could be wrong about the meaning of this, but…” That way if the information they are conveying is wrong or does not apply then that has already been qualified by one of the “loophole phrases”.
A cold reader is better than most real psychics because they have practiced and they give out very general information that to the recipient seems uncanny but is really nothing more than a bunch of generalizations that could apply to anyone. But because the recipient is open to the message they latch onto those things that apply to them and cast aside the things that don’t basically ensuring that when the reading is over they will have memories of all the things the reader got right.
Here are some examples:
Shotgunning: this is term used to define the reader throwing out a bunch of information in quick succession and seeing what sticks.
“I am feeling that there is someone close to you coming through.”
The recipient will usually lean in or tense up
“I am sensing that the loss was very difficult…”
What “loss” isn’t. If the recipient hated the person would they be there?
“I get the feeling that this is an older male figure,”
The recipients body language changes to a defensive posture or they lose interest
“They have brought a female with them”
The recipient covers their mouth in awe
“It is an older female…”
The recipient looks confused
“And she has a child with her…”
Tears brim in the recipients eyes.
“It is a young girl.”
The recipient nods and begins crying heavily.
“I sense that it is a young girl.”
The recipient nods quickly completely unaware that they acknowledged the gender just seconds ago. At this point the shotgunning becomes more targeted. The reader can go in for the kill now.
“I am getting the impression that this young girl is a daughter or a daughter figure. Does that make sense to you?”
At this point the recipient will usually answer and give the reader some details such as the relation.
Profiling: This is a term used to define what a reader does when they use personal information about the recipient to get false positives. It can deal with their names, what they are wearing, their body language, even physical characteristics. Everything is fair game.
I saw one female psychic at a group reading once focus on a young couple. It was evident the two were a couple because they were the only ones in the room holding hands and they were leaning in toward each other and making googly eyes. It did not surprise me in the least when the alleged psychic latched onto them.
She started with shotgunning at a very basic level until she determined that it was an older woman who was coming through and that it was the mother of the young man. From there she went into profiling the couple. She noticed the wedding bands they wore and surprising she said, “I am getting the feeling that there was a wedding or there will be a wedding soon, does this make sense to you?”
The couple laughed and looked at each other amazed that this psychic woman was able to know this. They told her that they had just been married.
“Your mom said she was there…”
The man laughs but becomes emotional. The wife grips her husband’s hand.
“Your mother says that she approves of your wife. Did they ever meet?”
The man shakes his head. “My mom died before they met.”
“I know,” the psychic replied. “That’s why I asked.”
No, she didn’t really know that, she asked a question then followed it up by explaining why she asked. This trick goes unnoticed because everyone in the room was focused on the idea that she asked about whether or not the mom knew the woman whom her son married. It seems like the psychic knew something, but in truth, she did nothing but had the couple give her the answer and more ammunition.
“I sense your mom was picky about your girlfriends,”
The man nods and begins to cry. This is already a given by the way the man reacted to the message that the mother approved of his wife.
“No woman was ever good enough for her little boy.”
More nods and gasps from the crowd. What mother isn’t? Even if that isn’t true, surely people want to believe that their mother has their best interests at heart.
And it goes on and on, the generalizations open the door for more detailed messages and by the end of the reading which lasts about 5 to ten minutes at the most everyone is amazed and they hope the psychic comes to them next. Which leads to…
Fishing the tactic used in group readings to hone in on the next target. The psychic will throw out more generalizations and see who is left standing after the process of elimination.
“I feel an older male coming through, this would be a grandfather.”
A majority of hands in the room go up.
“This person died of heart failure, or some problem with their heart.”
Some hands go down.
“This person is was a laborer, they worked with their hands…maybe a mechanic or a woodworker, or…“
Even more hands go down.
That is how it goes until the crowd thins to just a few people then the shotgunning begins and based on responses to the shotgunning the reader will now have one person of whom they can begin to profile. After that whole process the crowd will be in awe.
Finally, a word about dates. using dates is a great way to get people to buy into the information being passed to them. It is a tricky row to hoe though as there are 365 days in a standard calendar year of 12 months. Most months have 30 or 31 days. A cold reader will NEVER claim they can give you an exact date, but they will allow you to draw your won conclusions based on giving you a random number. Numbers are great in the sense that the brain will automatically try to make sense out of it.
“What’s the significance of 21?” The reader asks.
The recipient shrugs.
“It could be an age, a date, a time…”
“I mean, I was 21 when my uncle died.”
“Okay, that is validation that the person coming through knows you.”
“Is it my uncle, because I hated him.”
“Not your uncle, but they used this as validation but they want you to know that he is there on the other side and he is sorry for what he did to you…”
The bottom line, and the point to this post is that there are psychics/mediums out there but they are not what you see on television and they are not accurate with their work. They are uncertain at times, wrong more than once, and just as confused as to why they can do what they do as the general public is. We are amused and excited when we can validate something and we can laugh at ourselves. We hate that we can not prove that what we have exists and some of us are embarrassed, ashamed and confused because our abilities.
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